On pins and needles…

June 27, 2011


What a difference a week makes.  Two weeks ago, I was a Momma of one. I went about my business, gardening, growing, canning, preserving, and doing what we do around this little house. Two weeks ago, I was blissfully unaware.

Then, one week ago I found out that even if the second line is barely there, it is still there. It is. Believe me, I argued this point over and over again. It is there and suddenly three became four. Visions and dreams of brothers, bunk beds, family hiking trips and “Momma, he’s touching me!” came to mind.  Visions of a little sister, bows, ribbons, dresses and cute baby knitting. Visions of a baby, of a new tiny darling baby, daydreams of babyhood and what a great brother G would be.

Then this weekend, things did not go smoothly.  I won’t be dramatic and say that things went wrong they just went differently. Differently than last time, differently than expected. I did not think your heart could break so quickly, over something you have never known. Something so unassuming, so unexpected.

So now we sit, on baited breath, and wait.

I believe the waiting might be the hardest part. Are we or aren’t we?


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