Failing

 I wanted to share something that’s been on often on my mind since becoming a Momma of two. Now, I’m not claiming to be an expert in parenting nor have I ever thought to be – I am simply a mother of two who is struggling to make it work for her. In trying to find the rhythm and rhyme to our small family and figure out how to parent the two loves of my life.

The problem is that I am felt like I am failing in these last four months. Failing my elder son who now needs more attention than ever because he has a little brother. Failing my baby because he doesn’t have his needs immediately met. Failing my spouse as we rarely have alone time much less quality alone time where the conversation doesn’t revolve around who is changing the laundry (usually him) and what the toddler did today. Failing my house as the laundry piles up and the tomatoes go unprocessed and the vegetables get picked a day or two late. And failing myself as I leave myself last in this pile of people and forgo my routines and special things to make me feel good. I am failing.

And a friend posted this article.

And it helped remind me that we are a different family than other people and I am a different mother than others. My children, well they are not a textbook case – my toddler is willful and strong and determined to have his way in life – and he doesn’t fit into a mold. Lately, I’ve been getting much advice on parenting from friends and family, neighbors and experts all pushing to help me help my kids. And in my quest to be a better mom, I listened and applied, never quite realizing that maybe I should listen to the kids instead.

Because my son knows what he needs, he shows me the tools to help him. He shows me how determined he is to do his own thing and his need to be heard in life – much like my own. He shows me that his month of illness has been hard on him and he’s tired. But most of all he shows me how to parent him – in a tough love but gentle way to get the best results from his little personality.

Maybe I am not failing but attempting to adapt to the new role that has taken me by storm. Learning how to be a mom to two is rough, and in these months we are slowly adjusting to what life is like today and maybe tomorrow a little more will get accomplished.