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Hard days

July 17, 2014


As a stay at home mom of two with another one the way, sometimes my patience is spread terribly thin. There are days like yesterday: my head is throbbing, my belly aching and both boys very tired and emotional when things end up less than ideal.

It was late afternoon and I attempted a trip to the library for a juggling show. The bigger child enjoyed it greatly, but the two year old was ready for a nap and began rolling, kicking and acting up. We lasted 30 minutes before I was done wrangling and my patience ran out. So home we went, ready for naps. I asked everyone to nap just so I could sleep, being five months pregnant with a tummy ache made for a very tired mommy. And so, we tried, and my four year old have it a good shot. But as I fell asleep he came in asking to read stories and I lost it. Much like a toddler who loses it completely, I started crying and being mean. Why would you want a story right now when Mom is exhausted? How could you ask?

And as expected, he went to his room, shunned by his mom, and cried. And my heart sunk and I felt like the worst mother ever.

I called him to me and apologized, grabbed books and we cuddled and did stories.

But the pain of my reaction stuck with me all afternoon and my guilt grew. I felt terrible and as I unloaded on my Husband that evening, he helped me realize that the kids were fine, the moment passed and everything would be well tomorrow.
All of us have bad days, moments when we lose it and just cannot be selfless anymore. I feel as society expects us to be super humans, super mothers who dress fabulously, bake, craft, create and have beautiful, well behaved children who are prefect stimulated and socialized. This is just not humanly possible. And, as moms we deserve a bit if grace to forgive ourselves for being human. Because being mom, whether stay at home, working, single, gay, straight or married is a ROUGH job. It is hours of endless selflessness, love and patience that sometimes just takes a toll on our minds and hearts. And everyone makes mistakes, even when that means momentarily hurting your kids’ feelings in a weak instance.

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Cooking is a passion for me as well as a profession – it feeds my soul while keeping my boys happy. When I decided to leave my job and be a stay at home mom to these crazy kids I never realized how much my culinary training would come in handy in helping feed, nourish and teach these guys. Luckily for me, the kitchen is where all the action in in our little home, where my boys gravitate to first thing in the morning and where my days end (except on those exhausted days where I end up in my nook with yarn in hands).

It’s been a while since I’ve baked or created anything in the kitchen with my big guy, G. As he’s gotten older and matured a bit I’m finding he really enjoys and learns a ton from baking with mom in the kitchen. He takes pride in cooking with me and I can get him to try new foods if he helps prepare them. Also, with our love of gardening I feel it closes the loop on where and how our food grows and how much work is necessary to make our meals.
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Yesterday afternoon was a rare treat of sorts. Lately our schedule has been busy and crazy, with far too many activities and not enough home time. This afternoon, why Little Guy O and Daddy were napping and it found Big Guy G and myself alone to pass the time. So into the kitchen we ventured to try a new recipe that had been hanging out for a while – Chocolate Granola. Based off My New Roots recipe, but adapted for our ingredients and life.

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Not only was this healthy and incredibly taste treat easy to make it was delicious!!! It tastes a bit like Cocoa Pebbles without all the junk that store bought cereals tend to include. My Big Guy loved it and had a good time learning about measurements and increments as we measured out the grains and nuts.

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Here is a new recipe for you all to try and enjoy – we surely are loving it with almond milk and sliced bananas (the milk turns into Chocolate Milk!! Yum!!)

Chocolate Granola

3 cups rolled Oats
1 cup buckwheat
1 1/2 cup coconut flakes
1 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup chia seeds
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup coconut oil
1/3 cup honey
1 tsp vanila
1/2 cup cocoa powder or chocolate chips

Mix the oats, buckwheat, coconut flakes and nuts and seeds together. In a small saucepan, melt the coconut oil and chocolate chips together, adding in honey and vanilla when melted. Whisk till smooth. Pour over dry ingredients and gently fold to coat. Press into a rimmed baking sheet and pat down with a spoon to press to compact. Bake 15-20 minutes at 350, flip in large chunks and bake another 10 minutes till fragrant. Let fully cool and enjoy!!!

All in a day’s work…

January 19, 2011


As many of you know, this little family has been going through a rough patch the last few days and this little boy has had a few too many doctor’s appointments and a few too many pokes and prods. Luckily, he is just fine and reeking havoc all over our house and yard.

Being one is a difficult job. Trying to traverse the world being two and a half feet tall and not able to say what you wish or want in any discernible way is very, very difficult. As I watch this sweet, curious boy explore the home and land he was born into I see the difficulties that he has: everything is touchable, everything goes in the mouth, everything is his to explore.

Sometimes being this little boy’s Momma is difficult. Patience is not always my forte, occasionally I am preoccupied or wished to get something done that does not involve him. I will admit it, I am not always the best Momma. Occasionally he can be clingy and whining – and occasionally I can be annoyed.

Enter our beloved first child: Lucy. Lucy that tender hearted, sweet, loving Lab. Lucy the always hungry, always curious and always ready to play. Lucy the wonder the loves to cuddle, loves to look at picture books and (amazingly) is very, very gentle. Lucy my lifesaver who will always play with the little guy when I am just not able to.

There is something wonderful about a boy and his dog. These two are pals, these two share snacks, pillows, toys and more slobber than I care to share. They share a home, they share parents, they share a yard and they share love. They both sit by the window and share the marvel of rain storms and chickens, and when we go for walks the each walk each other – the little guy holding her leash in his stroller.

Yes, a boy and his dog. I can only imagine the adventures these two will go on as they both grow up.

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