What we need is a little respect…

I have been off this space for quite a while, between having the third babe and learning how to be a mom of three, it’s been a handful around here. While I have plenty to save, I don’t always have the time to get back here, even though I enjoy it so very much.

Today I came across a Facebook post that really struck a chord with me. It was a mom nursing her baby in a restaurant, and sharing how she was staring down a lady who was shaking her head and shaming this mother.

I am a nursing mother. I have nursed my three babies as long as they wished ( and one did not wish to and I pumped for him). I have nursed in public and in private, in cars, while wearing them while holding them. I’ve even nursed in a moving car while traveling ( don’t try that!). I love to nurse my babies and I understand the need and desire. However there is a thing called respect. Respect for our fellow humans, respect for our elders, respect for our society who we need to live with.

That includes breastfeeding in public. There are ways to nurse a baby uncovered discreetly. Having a breast completely uncovered and bare is not necessary. Yes, it is your right to nurse in public – however, it is not your right to make people ( many who have been on this earth longer than you and managed to nurse and care for their infants) feel uncomfortable during their outing to enforce your right. They have every right to feel slighted and offended – much more so then the nursing mother does. If one person can ruin an outing for an entire restaurant who is in the wrong?
So, instead of forcing people to ” normalize” breastfeeding maybe we could force people into showing manners and respect toward others? I don’t care to see someone pop their dentures out, floss, or relieve themselves in public. It’s not socially acceptable for someone to pass gas loudly and proudly, so can we please at least make an effort for having some sort of decency for nursing?
After all, if we teach our children to be constantly confrontational and demanding to enforce every single right are we any better than the people who stare and shame breastfeeding? If manners are taught at home, shouldn’t they be enforced in public?

Casting on and cutting in…

I’ve been a busy bee the last few weeks with projects and furniture moving, room rearranging and some dreaming. With a dear friend’s request for new baby bibs, I began to bust out my sewing supplies to revamp my Etsy store. And while it’s still a work in progress, I’m getting there with new items cued up and on my ironing board to finish up.

Oh, but it’s not just been sewing! Its been knitting and casting on for some baby items for this little guy who is on his way. Very quickly might I add!
So, without much further ado, a quick photo album of my recent WIPs!

Hard days

As a stay at home mom of two with another one the way, sometimes my patience is spread terribly thin. There are days like yesterday: my head is throbbing, my belly aching and both boys very tired and emotional when things end up less than ideal.

It was late afternoon and I attempted a trip to the library for a juggling show. The bigger child enjoyed it greatly, but the two year old was ready for a nap and began rolling, kicking and acting up. We lasted 30 minutes before I was done wrangling and my patience ran out. So home we went, ready for naps. I asked everyone to nap just so I could sleep, being five months pregnant with a tummy ache made for a very tired mommy. And so, we tried, and my four year old have it a good shot. But as I fell asleep he came in asking to read stories and I lost it. Much like a toddler who loses it completely, I started crying and being mean. Why would you want a story right now when Mom is exhausted? How could you ask?

And as expected, he went to his room, shunned by his mom, and cried. And my heart sunk and I felt like the worst mother ever.

I called him to me and apologized, grabbed books and we cuddled and did stories.

But the pain of my reaction stuck with me all afternoon and my guilt grew. I felt terrible and as I unloaded on my Husband that evening, he helped me realize that the kids were fine, the moment passed and everything would be well tomorrow.
All of us have bad days, moments when we lose it and just cannot be selfless anymore. I feel as society expects us to be super humans, super mothers who dress fabulously, bake, craft, create and have beautiful, well behaved children who are prefect stimulated and socialized. This is just not humanly possible. And, as moms we deserve a bit if grace to forgive ourselves for being human. Because being mom, whether stay at home, working, single, gay, straight or married is a ROUGH job. It is hours of endless selflessness, love and patience that sometimes just takes a toll on our minds and hearts. And everyone makes mistakes, even when that means momentarily hurting your kids’ feelings in a weak instance.

Return to center

Summer and life seems to move at breakneck speeds when children are involved. And for my (soon to be not so) small family it seems a conscious effort to slow down and catch our breathes has been in order. A few days ago Hubby and I had a long, long chat about how we both longed for our homemade days of a few years back, where home was truly where everything happened, where we cooked, baked, played and created.
For me, it seems the draw the do more, to keep up and catch up is greater the bigger my family gets until I reach a point where I just can’t anymore. Too many days out, too many quick grocery stops, too many fast lunches or dinners, and tired, exhausted boys who need their time to relax. And so we regroup, pare it down and return to our center, our home.
Lately the days have been slow, intentional and filled with the sort of childhood moments I dream of for my boys. There have been friends, yes, and a trip to the coast for the Fourth, but overall much more home time to explore and relax.
Truly, my heart is much happier here in this small house as it bursts with life and creation. With moments in my day to create, my sewing and knitting are steadily coming along, there have been a few shirts made, Hubby has begun a batch of wine, there is talk and plans for a kiln going in. I enjoy watching the boys discover new ways to play both with each other and alone. And I enjoy being able to say yes – yes you can stay up late, yes you can have another ice pop, yes yes yes. For no schedules and time constraints means more yeses, less no’s and many, many more moments of bliss.

Oh boy!

There is a slight obsession with canning as this time of year comes around. Especially this year as I get to share it with my eldest boy – at almost 5 he’s sharing the excitement of flats of fruit. And do, I start researching recipes for the best stone fruit recipe.

Much like throwing a penny in a wishing well, canning feels like a promise in tomorrow. Tomorrow I know there will be delicious tastes of summer when the wind is howling and the rain pouring. I know I will have small samples of spring and sun, and the memory of having made these with my boys.
And so, I start with my first batch of the year …

Quick and easy dinner

My easy eater has suddenly turned the dreaded picky. Yes, picky. Which makes dinner time not only a pain, but a chore with creating something the little guy will eat. Fortunately, big brother will still eat most things even if he is very specific on what those things are. ” no butter mommy. I don’t like mayo mommy” ( who on earth doesn’t like mayo??!!)
In a pinch, I threw together this quick and simple pasta dish as a quick, before baseball dinner. Mommy win! Nutritious, delicious and pleased everyone in one simple pan.

Sausage Bow tie pasta

2 bratwurst or Italian sausage links sliced into coins
1/2 green pepper, sliced
1/2 bunch asparagus, sliced on diagonal
1 clove minced garlic
Handful of crimini mushrooms, sliced
Half lb of bow tie pasta
Parmesan cheese
Dried oregano
Crushed red chili flakes (on side )

Cook pasta as directed on package, drain but save some cooking liquid for sauce
In olive oil, sautée mushrooms and sausage till almost cooked through. Add peppers, thick part of asparagus and garlic and sautée till tender. Add in pasta, asparagus tips and just enough of the cooking water to give the sauce a little body. Season to taste, add in some Parmesan and serve up with red chili flakes for the adults.
Yum!

Cooking with kids and Granola!

Cooking is a passion for me as well as a profession – it feeds my soul while keeping my boys happy. When I decided to leave my job and be a stay at home mom to these crazy kids I never realized how much my culinary training would come in handy in helping feed, nourish and teach these guys. Luckily for me, the kitchen is where all the action in in our little home, where my boys gravitate to first thing in the morning and where my days end (except on those exhausted days where I end up in my nook with yarn in hands).

It’s been a while since I’ve baked or created anything in the kitchen with my big guy, G. As he’s gotten older and matured a bit I’m finding he really enjoys and learns a ton from baking with mom in the kitchen. He takes pride in cooking with me and I can get him to try new foods if he helps prepare them. Also, with our love of gardening I feel it closes the loop on where and how our food grows and how much work is necessary to make our meals.

Yesterday afternoon was a rare treat of sorts. Lately our schedule has been busy and crazy, with far too many activities and not enough home time. This afternoon, why Little Guy O and Daddy were napping and it found Big Guy G and myself alone to pass the time. So into the kitchen we ventured to try a new recipe that had been hanging out for a while – Chocolate Granola. Based off My New Roots recipe, but adapted for our ingredients and life.

Not only was this healthy and incredibly taste treat easy to make it was delicious!!! It tastes a bit like Cocoa Pebbles without all the junk that store bought cereals tend to include. My Big Guy loved it and had a good time learning about measurements and increments as we measured out the grains and nuts.

Here is a new recipe for you all to try and enjoy – we surely are loving it with almond milk and sliced bananas (the milk turns into Chocolate Milk!! Yum!!)

Chocolate Granola

3 cups rolled Oats
1 cup buckwheat
1 1/2 cup coconut flakes
1 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup chia seeds
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup coconut oil
1/3 cup honey
1 tsp vanila
1/2 cup cocoa powder or chocolate chips

Mix the oats, buckwheat, coconut flakes and nuts and seeds together. In a small saucepan, melt the coconut oil and chocolate chips together, adding in honey and vanilla when melted. Whisk till smooth. Pour over dry ingredients and gently fold to coat. Press into a rimmed baking sheet and pat down with a spoon to press to compact. Bake 15-20 minutes at 350, flip in large chunks and bake another 10 minutes till fragrant. Let fully cool and enjoy!!!

Boy love

Boy love – a bizarre way of expressing feelings by small male creatures that often includes physical pain, small rocks and bugs.

Around here, love is shown in many different ways than I was used to as a young girl. Often, I’m showered with tokens of love, small items of unspeakable confusion to a lady that explain how often we are thought of, like this morning when a broken sparkly rhinestone button was lovingly placed on my nightstand with, ” here mommy, I know how you like sparkly things.” This, my friends, is boy love.

Boy love is insane and makes absolutely no sense to a girl love mind, and the physicality is really interesting. Often, my mornings are riddled with tackles, head butts, hugs, butt smacks, and tumblings over my still waking self. The boys love to crawl all over me, often using me as a spring board. Does Daddy get any of this treatment? Yes he does, a rough and tumble love of sorts that leaves the receiver a bit shell shocked and wondering why s/he was the receiver of such craziness. This love is intense, comes in hurricane like intensity and leaves as quickly as a bird taking flight.

Boy love is why when asked why asked what he would like to do for classmates for Valentine’s day, my boy brought out all small car and offered them up as tokens of love.

Yes, boy love is a rough and strange phenomenon, yet I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even for all the bruises.

On going out…

Recently, a friend asked the question if something was wrong with her because she chose not to go out with her friends for outings.

Now this is something I have struggled with incredibly. I see the expectations everywhere – moms are expected to go out for drinks or girls nights, craft nights, shopping, lunches, dinners or spa days in order to recharge and get away from the families. Especially with social media giving such accessibility to see friends at dances, parties, bars, and concerts. I know Mothers who go away on weekend getaways with friends, leaving the children at home. They drink, dance, relax, enjoy, dine. Now you have to understand what I mean by DINE – as a parent you find yourself eating often enough but when was the last time you truly DINED? (Hmm, this might need to be a whole other post.)

To say the little green eyed monster has never tapped my shoulder over these excursions would be completely lying to you. I am jealous. Jealous of the time, the relaxation, the beautiful people and places my friends get to go. I’m jealous of the laughter and jokes, the dressing up, the FUN of it all – just plain ole jealousy that goes to the core. But what I’m most jealous of is the ability to let go.

Now let me explain – I am far from a perfectionist who needs things done a certain way. If you’ve ever entered my home you know that generally there is a mess somewhere, if not everywhere, there are cluttered countertops, Legos strewn everywhere and enough dog hair to make a Shih Tzu. I am just fine with the messes and clutter, in fact I rather we have a good time that worry about making a mess. Messes can be cleaned up and fixed but moments and memories cannot. What I have a hard time letting go of is my family. When I go out, I end up being tired and worn out the next day, regardless of the fun I had. I just can’t manage the exhaustion. I’m not sure if other children are easier on their parents, or if my tolerance for boy-dom is painfully low but some days it takes every ounce of my being to handle my boys. And going out zaps me of whatever extra ounces I might have had reserved for a rough night, a hard day or just an illness.

Is this terrible? Shouldn’t I be DYING to get out of the house without my troop; running to get out with the girls and chit chat about the world? Shouldn’t I be excited and counting down the minutes to the next happy hour and dolling myself up for the sake of going out? The world seems to think I should be, but I’m not terribly sure.

See, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be home with your family. I spent a some time falling in love with this man, making a home and dreaming of the babies that would eventually come. This home, these people – no matter how big or little – are part of my fiber of being. When I leave without them, I feel naked. And the thing is, and this is the kicker, I feel seriously guilty for feeling lost without them. But what is it about not wishing to go out and join the world at girls’ night that is so wrong? Why is this seen as being a “missing out” moment? In my opinion, these years are so short – so fleeting. Is it so terrible to want to be nowhere else but home?

My world is slightly overwhelming and I feel I give everything to keep this going – to be the best version I can be to my boys and husband even when I am feeling far from it. It’s not that I don’t enjoy a girls night out, but rather that I have such a hard time catching up after going out. Maybe as the time goes by I’ll find a better balance in this subject, but for now, I’m happy with my focus on home.

Home days

January has been a month on the go. Between errands, swim lessons, preschool and work, I feel like we’ve barely been able to be home lately, much less play. Unfortunately a small sniffle and cough caused us to cozy up and hang out with these walls we love so much.
And so there has been much:
~ Bread baking using a modified version of this recipe. I modified it by adding cooked oatmeal and boy, oh boy a it soft and lovely. Even my wheat bread protester loves it.
~knitting and more knitting by mama who really wishes to finish Daddy’s Christmas socks!
~ sprout making and watching by the boys
~ juicing to boost immunity ( green machine this morning, orange carrot yesterday!)
~ too much tv and lounging around
~ lots of art and painting, lots of coloring and bead sorting while brothers sleep
~ tons of Decemberists and Jack Johnson streaming with Sparkle Stories in between
~ moon sand making using a new recipe, painting with car and just general boy craziness.

Yes, it’s nice to be home sometimes!!!